


Dump Stat

by DreamerInSilico



Category: Labyrinth (1986)
Genre: Can be read as ship fic, Companionable Snark, Gen, Humor, but also just sassmaster frenemy fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-20 14:04:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17623787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamerInSilico/pseuds/DreamerInSilico
Summary: Sarah makes a snap decision; it backfires because Jareth is insufferable.





	Dump Stat

**Author's Note:**

> For a truly delightful prompt on Tumblr - "Jareth + bath bombs"

Fae birthdays do not work quite like human ones, because time in Faerie does not work quite like time in the mortal world.  But birthdays, they do have, and sometimes celebrate, apparently - or maybe Jareth just shows up in her apartment with a shit-eating grin to ask what she got him for his birthday today for kicks, Sarah doesn’t know.

She does know that she’s annoyed with him, but that’s definitely at least part of the point.  

“Do you take baths in your world, or just magic yourself clean every now and then?” she asks after a moment, rolling her eyes.  (Does he even sweat, for that matter? She doesn’t know this, either.)

Jareth does one of his annoyingly-superior-yet-hot little chuckles.  “Of course I bathe, Sarah.” 

She can already picture it - half a dozen goblins filling a huge, clawfoot tub at the top of a tower somewhere, candles everywhere.  “Wait here a sec,” she tells him, and goes to collect some leftover tissue paper from her own last birthday, and then to her bathroom to collect her intended gift.  

Sarah loves bath bombs (most friends and family know this about her), but one either loves or loathes the glittery ones, and she definitely is the latter sort of person (most friends and family do not know this about her).  The galaxy bomb her aunt sent her last Christmas is carefully segregated from all other bath products, to avoid contaminating anything she actually uses with the sparkly menace. 

She wonders whether Jareth will hate it (funny), or love it (also probably funny, if eyeroll-inducing).  

He opens the impromptu little package with a bemused sort of interest that says he wasn’t actually expecting her to give him anything.  “Dare I ask what this is?” 

“You put it in your bath water to make it smell nice,” she explains, carefully disallowing herself from smirking.  “They’re called bath bombs, but no actual explosions, I promise.” 

“It’s very colorful.” 

“Yup.”

“Thank you, lovely Sarah.  Mortals have come up with such strange and charming things in recent centuries.”

As it turns out, Jareth  _ adores _ the damned thing.  And starts trailing actual, physical glitter all over the place every time he comes to see her, instead of just the magical kind, because he apparently did some research and had his minions raid a Lush.  

_ Wisdom _ , Sarah reflects, thoroughly exasperated,  _ is definitely my dump stat. _

  
  



End file.
